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Freedom

July 15, 2009

A colleague’s conversation with her mother-in-law.

 

Mil: how was work today?

She: hmm.. fine…

Mil: so did you do any business today..?

She: nothing today.

Mil: Pintu’s father (their neighbour) is getting an increment.

She: acha.

Mil: so any chances you get one too..

She: i don’t know..not every year, every company gives  every employee one.

Mil: so.. how much are you making in your incentives..?

She: could you please not ask that.

______________________………____________________________

He: what is your problem..?

She: what..?

He: if you can’t respect my mother you are free to go.

_______________________……..____________________________

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30 Comments leave one →
  1. July 15, 2009 5:58 am

    na jaane kaha kho gaya… mera yeh man…

  2. July 15, 2009 6:00 am

    ooops…should have read the post before commenting… !! need to keep that in mind from now on… !!

    Gee… everyone seems trigger happy here …

    That’s ok.. i know you just won 2 awards.. so you must be blinded by the camera flashes…
    congrats.. 🙂

  3. July 15, 2009 6:15 am

    that sounds like one difficult relationship triangle… :-/
    disinterested DIL, interfering MIL… and an insensitive hubby

    DIL disinterested in MIL.. hubby insensitive to women problems..(coz otherwise they are a happy couple)
    MIL just plain interfering..

  4. July 15, 2009 6:15 am

    hey but isnt everyone in the above scene over reacting a bit… too fast too soon.. ??

    • July 15, 2009 6:16 am

      exactly… u cant seem to pinpoint the fault on any one person…

  5. July 15, 2009 6:32 am

    hahahahahaha.. 😀
    hehehehehehe.. 😀
    hohohohohoho.. 😀

    what..?
    you’re not married yet..

  6. July 15, 2009 7:48 am

    Husband lovs to blame kya?
    seems like it..
    too complicatd this one..

    seems complicated to me too..

  7. July 15, 2009 7:55 am

    A clear case of difference in perception across generations. In the MIL’s times such a question from a family member would not have been considered interference.
    Rules change across generations and a little open talk always helps. The husband should be the bridge.

    yes but this generation sees it as a personal thing and well i agree with her. if it was me i too would have preferred not to tell.

    here the husband seems to be the one burning the bridges.. what can they do now..?

    • July 15, 2009 11:03 am

      I can see the husbands fault… clearly … he is totally wrong and very extreme…

      yes he could have been a bit more considerate..

      but in the MIL’s & DIL’s case like usha says… perceptions are different for different generations…

      maybe the girl could have been a bit more polite… but maybe you have to be there to understand.. and we don’t know the history..

  8. kanagu permalink
    July 15, 2009 8:28 am

    Complicated… very complicated 🙂

    Hmmm…

  9. July 15, 2009 10:34 am

    Whatz the MIL got to do with her business or incentives ????? N comparing that with some neighbour’s! I think my answer wud hv been the same too

    That’s what the younger generation thinks.. according to Usha.. maybe i too might have said something like that only..

  10. July 15, 2009 11:12 am

    Loaded! 😉

    🙂 abhi samajh nahi aaega.. you’re on cloud 9 now… you just enjoy… 🙂

  11. July 15, 2009 12:01 pm

    ummm.. thats mean MIL red hat version.. dont make them these days ,me thinks

    maybe they do…

  12. July 15, 2009 12:22 pm

    is dis real?? i cant believe still dere r guys like dis….

    unfortunately.. this is real..

  13. July 15, 2009 3:05 pm

    What in hell’s name was the husband asking her wife to go if she cannot ‘respect’ his mom?
    But are there men like this nowadays?

    me too was surprised to hear that.. there are Indian men like this even now..

  14. July 15, 2009 4:11 pm

    Why doesn’t this surprise me? Well, that’s an even worse thing that it doesn’t surprise me. 😦

    it didn’t.. ?
    well..i have heard things like this do happen but never thought i would witness it…

  15. July 15, 2009 4:54 pm

    I think the husband is the most insensitive too.. For all you know, the DIL might already be under pressure and feeling a little low about the fact that the she is not getting an increment, so that might explain her reaction. The MIL might not even realise that it is something that is private – hence her questions.. But the husband? He just jumped the gun!!! When he should have really tried to balance things out..

    i too was surprised to know.. instead of trying to mend things he just wanted to finish off with the girl.. i think they could have talked atleast.. heard both the sides out.. and then make a justified decision…

  16. July 15, 2009 5:21 pm

    If if was Sakhi’s story, I would have asked her to do something to MIL and the husband. But kyun ki this one’s a real story I have no answers!

    i wish it was her story.. we could have demanded a happy ending together…..

  17. July 15, 2009 5:42 pm

    😦 😦

    me too… 😦 😦

  18. Vimmuuu permalink
    July 15, 2009 8:39 pm

    All three have become crazy living with each other 🙂

    maybe that is the case…

    • July 16, 2009 2:15 am

      beta this is a trailer of married life… watch out… 😀 😀 😀

      and what an apt time for this… 😀 😀

      • Vimmuuu permalink
        July 16, 2009 8:15 am

        LOL. I knew what I was getting into !!!! 😉

        so when are we getting a post about ‘her’..? maybe the 1st one on WP … 😀
        Wah Vimmuuu babu.. naya blog.. nayeee biwi (Err.. Fiance’.. or GF..)… badhiya hai.. 😀

  19. July 16, 2009 1:04 pm

    Shall we say ‘Kahani Ghar-2 ki’ nah!! I shud touch wood (Vimmu bring ur head) and say, am lucky!!!

    touchwood Smita….. 😀

  20. July 16, 2009 1:21 pm

    Well, a lot of subtleties and relationship foibles get lost in interpretations, and reinterpretations and translations :). So none of us know the story from the point of view of all 3 involved, nor do we know the history. But I agree that these issues are due to changes in perception. In our culture, the MIL is supposed to be another “mother” for the wife, and the DIL is supposed to be treated as a “daughter”. So if this is strictly viewed from that perspective, it seems reasonable for a mother and daughter to openly share such things. But this bond needs to build over time and until then some boundaries will be drawn.

    But when both people are still viewing each other as a threat, everything becomes an insult, an intrusion. Open communication without blaming and being overly defensive will help. But all 3 need to cooperate in order to work this out and the husband should definitely be a good mediator.

    PS: I’ve been taking a small break … thanks for asking! 🙂

    good to see you again.. 🙂 and your well thought explanatory comment.. 😀

    yes this situation needs a lot of communication.. as you have said if they had seen each other as a ‘mother’ and ‘daughter’ and not a a threat in each other’s teritory it could have been easier.
    and the husband needs to understand that one disagreement does/should not mean end of everything.

  21. July 16, 2009 7:49 pm

    Husband is an as*hole! Needs a kick in the butt.

    Oh ya…. 🙂

  22. July 18, 2009 2:47 am

    Kahani ghar ghar ki? !!

    Destination Infinity

    i hope not..

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