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My Retirement planning

June 15, 2009

Why people dread being old..?

Is it because of the incompetence that comes with age, reduced memory, loneliness, or physical discomfort due to illness… what is it actually..?

I am thinking a lot about old age these days.

There is this ad on TV these days for ‘Pension Plans’ which has a tag line “Jab na paison ki kami ho aur na waqt ki, to awaragardi to hogi hi” (when there is no scarcity of money and time then there will be a lot of loitering around)

I love this ad as it shows exactly how old age should be. It is the second childhood, of no responsibilities and a lot of fun. Why people don’t understand that.

Everyone wants to have a peaceful old age but they are not ready to work towards it. Not only everyone should be monetarily stable and independent, one should also be ready to take care of themselves, and should not be dependent on the kid(s) in any way. It is a different case if you have any ailment that needs support but if you are a fit grandparent why sulk and start the countdown to expiry.. Wouldn’t it be better to live life like you never could in those days? Do what ever you wanted and didn’t have time for.

Yesterday there was a movie on Star Gold called “Detective Naani”.  Maybe an Indian effort to copy Granny.

granny

This movie has released in 2009, which I only came to know after Googling it.

It is a story of a Naani (maternal grandmother) everyone calls her that.. Who plays the detective in solving a murder mystery. Read review here.

It is not the detective skills that caught my eye but her lifestyle in total. The movie begins with a morning walk with the dog, surveying the surroundings and making small talk with all neighbours. Be it adults or kids she is friendly and welcoming to both.

She lives alone with her dog Bruno. But her grandchildren frequently visit her as she helps in babysitting them for their working parents. How useful and wonderful. She gets to spend so much time with the grandchildren also she is helping her kids.

There is a scene where her son tries to give her money if his son (whom she is babysitting) needs anything. But the reply comes ‘he will get whatever he needs’. And she refuses to take the money.

This is the kind of grand parent I want to be. Solving mysteries.. Well I don’t mind.

Why people have reduced sleep cycles in old age is so that they can do more. It takes them more time than before to do the same chores and things. So if they sleep less they can actually do more.

Instead what they do with the extra time…? They spend this time worrying and feeling low and depressed. They complain that no one cares about them and leaves them alone all the time. Do they ever try to remember how it was when they worked and were busy all the time? They should give the younger generation some time and understanding and should be friendly enough that the kids look forward to the time with the grandparents.

Grand parents can be great companions. As they have so much time and knowledge and love and affection. They just need to learn to curb that affection and give the youngsters their space and privacy.

Neeya Naana a show on Star Vijay recently showed an episode on problems/ differences between old and new generation…

The problems were very day to day and some things that just happen in all homes. Oldies (no offence) keep repeating what they have said 20 times already and think that if they do not say that 5 more times that work might not happen. The younger generation is uncomfortable in obeying as they think they could do it as efficiently even when not told to do so. This one is very common. There was a family where parents and their 2 married daughters had come where they had named the mother “Peter repeater”.. Funny but true.

There was one more MIL, DIL duo who had similar problems. Also an old man who had lost his wife and was feeling very lonely.

Finally there were guest speakers who put in their views on this. The Doctor summarized it beautifully. He talked about how we spend our whole lives living for others and fulfilling responsibilities and not doing much for ourselves, and when we reach that age of retirement we have nothing to for ourselves as we are not habitual of it.

So that is the best time to rekindle your hobbies and live life to its fullest.

I have made my plans already. A nice little home where I live with my hubby, we’ll have a dog that’ll serve both purposes of safety and of having a kid as we might be going through the ‘Empty Nest Syndrome’. I’ll start my days with music and probably end it with music too. I will have my collection of Cds, DVD’s, mini DVD’s or whatever that will be used in those days for storing and playing music. We’ll have nice walks in the evening. You know I am not a morning person. I’ll spend a lot of time on net with my blog or other sites. Read a lot of books. Maybe join some photography class. Have a simple little life. I am all set.

Grandkids.. I will love to spend time with them too. Will be the coolest Granny in town.

So how do you plan your old age life?

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29 Comments leave one →
  1. June 15, 2009 1:42 pm

    OMG, you have started making retirement plans 😛
    I have not even worked out as to what I wanna do with life till now 😛 ROFL……..

    coolest granny in town…… ha…ha…ha…. 😛
    best of luck!!!!

    and btw, just a doubt…. are you a tamilian?

    Tha LOL part is that i am thinking of retirement but haven’t planned my today yet… just like everyone. 😀

    Thanks.. some day i will be.

    yes i am.. 🙂

  2. June 15, 2009 2:07 pm

    Lol! The ad is seriously hilarious. Seeing it for the first time. And the naani, I love her! 🙂
    My husband and I are planning a retirement home in a hill station. And yes, I want to be with all my friends, grandchildren (their and mine) and do crazy things together! 🙂

    you saw it the first time..? 🙂

    Wow hill station..! Cool (literally)..
    nice planning.. 🙂

  3. June 15, 2009 2:40 pm

    Hmmm….I have never thought about my old age or rather retirement! But yes am suer I wud want to be independent & would love to spend the days reading, reading n reading 🙂

    This is nice planning.. just make sure you don’t strain your eyes too much.. 🙂
    maybe we can have some ‘Old reader’s Club’.. count me in.. 😀

    • June 15, 2009 9:41 pm

      My thoughts are similar. I want to be independent and live life without any responsibilities. My old age should be a time when I will travel, read and simply visualize life around me. I want to be Greta Garbo-sque when I am old.

      Travel . that is one thing i fogot to include in my list.. i think old age is catching up already.. 😀

      i am sure you will be.. *thinking what that means… ;-)*

      • June 16, 2009 10:23 pm

        Greta Garbo lived a mysterious life when she was old. She shut her doors to the world. Suchitra Sen is similar. I like that life away from worldly charms and troubles.

        Oh.. Hmm.. i’d like that a lot too..

  4. June 15, 2009 2:48 pm

    LOL I agree with OG… I’ve yet to start my career in full swing. I m the least person fit to comment on this post 😀

    having said that, i’d like to compliment u on ur planning! 🙂 yes a lot of ppl tend to waste time brooding. if they thought intelligently of using the free time that they finally get after working so hard in life, things wouldn’t be half so bad. as long as u r protected financially (which again depends on ur planning), then u r free to live a carefree life – again, provided ur health permits, of course. anyway hope u have enjoyable retirement days! 🙂

    Retirement planning doesn’t mean that i am ready for today or tomorrow.. 😀 i still am just begining my career.. but just this thought crossed my mind.. glad it came before it is too late…

  5. June 15, 2009 4:49 pm

    LOL, I have no clue what I would be doing tomorrow. Why tomorrow, even the next one hour !! 😀 😀

    Chill, take life as it comes. The more you think about your old age, the more you are gonna feel old 😀 and yeah, more the grey hairs too 😀 😀

    As far as old age is concerned, you are right. They do behave like children and could be sometimes highly irritating. But imagine how tolerant our parents would have been in bringing us up. We would have been equally irritating repeating whatever we learned. We would have always seeked attention from our parents; we have depended on them when we were children for our very existence. I, personally, dont think theres anything wrong in parents or grandparents sulking or demanding for a little attention, because thats how each of us were….once upon a time !

    Well what else could we expect from you..! 😀

    Vimmuuu.. you getting Philosophical… that is new..

    yes we would surely have been a lot more difficult to handle for the parents and so now is our turn.. 🙂
    i didn’t mean it that way.. it is just they could be a lot more happier if they quit whining and start living..

  6. June 15, 2009 7:58 pm

    I don’t have plans for tomorrow and you are asking me plans for old age?? 😆
    Life already has its own plans. So, don’t make her angry by confusing her by presenting your plans to her! 😛
    And what are people afraid of when they grow old? Its death silly! 😉

    This reminds me of this..

    How to make God laugh..?
    tell him your plans.

    i agree but still planning never hurts..

    Death.. but what is there to be afraid of..? it will merely be a minute or two of pain and then you are free..

  7. June 15, 2009 9:38 pm

    Oorja, I share similar thoughts. Old age should be welcomed just like other stages of life. I have often seen people talking about old age as if everything is over. I see such pleasant old people around me that I really get inspired.

    *BTW this has nothing to do with OG calling you aunty, rt.* 😆

    Yes it too is a stage of life.. maybe we Indians are like this when it come sto ageing. coz in other countries nothing much changes with age.. and people are not judged by age.

    Oh he’s a gentleman.. he never called me aunty.. 🙂

    • June 15, 2009 10:55 pm

      Hello evil don Sololi, for the records, I have never ever called oorja, aunty….. nor do I ever intend too…..

      I called only our dear indy madam aunty 😆

      Thank you.. 😀 LOL

      • June 16, 2009 10:21 pm

        What?! OG a gentleman. Nahiiiiin.

        He has been that way with me.. 🙂

        • June 17, 2009 5:15 am

          yes, 😛 I deal differently with diff. people……
          respect has to be earned 😛 😛 😛 😛 😛

      • June 17, 2009 6:54 am

        OG 😛 😛 😛 😛
        Obviously apoopan to you all ‘kids’ below your old old age will look like aunties 😛 😛

        say that to console your heart 😛 😛

  8. June 16, 2009 4:06 am

    well right now m busy planning and enjoying my life..will start making plans abt old age after some 20-30 yrs..right now no time 2 think abt dat….abhi to bas aish karni hai….:):):):)

    You’ll plan about old age after 20-30years..!
    dear by that time you will already be old.. 🙂

    Enjoy your today.. 😀

  9. June 16, 2009 2:06 pm

    Like most people I don’t know what is in store for me in the next one hour!!! Leave alone old age. Well, on the hope side: Hope I have succeeded as a decent parent and my kid does not hate me by then to not even visit/call me ! 🙂

    No one knows what lies in future.. but we still can hope ..and hope for good things….

    i am sure you are a great mother and ‘A’ will never let go of you.. 🙂

  10. June 16, 2009 2:22 pm

    Nice post :)… Old age is indeed a hard phase to handle for those whose lives have revolved around their children… in a way they become their children’s shadows. But in this current generation we are more self-sufficient and ambitious, so barring bad health, the retirement plans of the current generation shouldn’t be as hard, or so I think! Who knows how the world will change in 40 years… But you are right, it’s nevertheless a good idea to start getting prepared and condition ourselves. I would have so many things to do if I had so much time on my hands, so I look forward to it! 🙂

    40 years… when you put it that way it seems too far.. and how the world will change.. no one knows…

    yes parent’s who can’t think about anything but their children for support in old age are hurt most when there is a situation of seperation. this generation believes in being independent so it will be easier for us.

  11. June 17, 2009 6:50 am

    I want to be the coolest Granny too 😀
    will be sharing a secret or two about grandkids and their crushes 😀
    and trying to learn new hobbies ..maybe salsa? 😉

    I want to live life to the hilt till the last breath 😀

    and I LOVED this post 🙂
    coz of all the thoughts that started in my mind 🙂

    Salsa.. wow.. 🙂
    grandkids and their crushes… you sure will be a cool granny.. 😀

  12. June 17, 2009 2:58 pm

    He he so you are getting ready to become a good granny ? ..BTW i too watched that program ..very interesting. Perhaps it is the only sane show in Sundays…

    I am but one thing is missing .. i am not even a mom yet.. 😀

    Ya that show is really good.. and all the topics are so day-to-day .. gives you a lot of food for thought and also let you know the other side’s view as we would never discuss things like this at home.. if we do it won’t end that peacefullly…LOL.. 😉

  13. June 17, 2009 8:55 pm

    you are certainly a pre-palnner 🙂

    great planning and be the cool grandma…. 🙂 old age is were we become kids again 🙂

    LOL @ Peter repeater 🙂

    Early bird catches the worms.. 🙂

    i want to be a kid again… all our life we think the next stage that is coming will be somehow better and…. 😀

  14. June 18, 2009 8:15 am

    damn I am retiring right now , life is boring 😀

    Now this is funny.. 😀

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  16. June 20, 2009 12:39 pm

    wow… u are a long time planner 😀
    if i live till the grey hair days and happen to be stressfree and free from illness, i would bring back my childhood days in every way possible, after offloading the burden on the next generation…
    i love the ad as well… wish to live just like that! 😀

    You will surely have grey hair days.. those things start very early now.. just kidding. 🙂
    we all will have a stressfree second childhood just believe in that. 🙂

  17. June 21, 2009 11:29 am

    Like Amit I dont know my plans for tomorrow and you are asking about old age?? I am not even married yet!

    I am merely asking if you have thought about it..? not that i have any concrete plan…. just a thought.. 🙂

  18. June 24, 2009 10:47 am

    I think these are excuses to hide the fact that the younger generation is no longer taking care of their parents and HENCE not expecting their kids to take care of them (I mean generally, after reading all the comments). People can be on their own, there is nothing wrong with that (In fact, when we get to that stage, we may not have any other options). But the fact here is, the younger generation (including all your commenters) is not willing to do their duties of being with or taking care of their parents and grand parents.

    There is nothing wrong in wanting to be independent or wanting to achieve (as if that cannot be done by having old people with us), but when we grow old, we will inevitably feel like kids : The kids will want to have their parents around, even though a lot of relatives would be willing to love them, and even though their parents might be very strict. Have you seen how much the kids want to keep talking to their parents? Perhaps such talking gives them security.

    So, the idea of living alone (independently) during old age is like sending the kids to boarding schools. Showering money, teaching them a lot of skills but not being around when they need our presence as parents to share simple things, as we might be too busy. Again there is nothing wrong with that, but I just made the point to convey the fact that we may not feel easy living somewhere alone in our old age. We can, at best, force ourselves in to such a living.

    Destination Infinity

    I understand what you are saying.

    i feel wanting to live alone is more to do with the willingness to do so than the lack of belief in the younger generation.

    yes elders behave just as kids, they seek more attention and want to be with everyone rather than alone. but i think when i say i want to live alone it is my decision. maybe i am such a person who would like my freedom and a lot of personal time and space.

    if we have been good to our elders, that is what our younger generation will learn from us. they wil not leave our side in time of need.

    and the idea of a boarding school… well the kids never diecide o go there.. but here we decide on our own what we want to do with the rest of our life.

    all our life we live with others adjusting and managing life as per our responsibilities.. maybe at the last stage of life i don’t want to do that anymore.. i want to live life my way.

    is there anything wrong with that..?

    i am in no way saying that kids should leave their parents. but as a parent i want to have my own seperate life…

    • June 25, 2009 10:17 am

      I hope the same attitude is maintained when you/other younger generation ppl are 65+

      People change, their needs change, and their attitudes change with time. We are talking about 35 years from now. There was another blog where the author was deciding on behalf of their parents – saying in plain terms that the parents want to be independent. That is what I call perfect politics. But what you are saying is different. This issue always gets me emotional! The silence of the younger generation is as venomous as the attitude of middle aged people and the acceptance of old age people. I regret if this was an unrelated comment.

      Destination Infinity

      Every kind of comment is always welcome.. 🙂

      i agree that i might change in the next 35-40 yrs (which is a very long time) or i might not.. who knows… we’ll just wait and watch.. afterall my plans do involve blogging.. 🙂

      deciding for yourself is one thing and for your parents is totally different..

      leaving the side of a dependant parents is inexcusable.

  19. July 3, 2009 3:52 pm

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