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Womb for Sale..!

February 4, 2009

I was watching a movie yesterday. It was a dubbed Telugu film in Tamil, called ‘Kanden Seetaiyai’. Couldn’t watch it till the end, but the story left me with a thought. The story was about a woman who to save her husband’s life agrees to be a surrogate mother to a millionaire’s baby. Though it was done asexually in an operation theatre using artificial insemination, but the whole society was against her for bearing another man’s child. Saying she was cheap to do so. It would have been better if her husband had died than do such a thing. Even her husband when came to know seemed flustered at the thought; though she had done it only to save his life. Her mother-in-law was the only one in her support. Maybe because she was too grateful to get her son back or maybe because she was thinking as a woman; who might have done the same to save her husband’s life. I really liked the characters of the heroine (Saundarya) who made this decision and her mother-in-law as she went against her own husband to support her daughter-in-law.

Then today in the afternoon when I was not even totally out of that concept I was stimulated to think about it more. While channel surfing I saw ‘Filhaal’ (couldn’t watch it though, had heard a lot of it) another story about a friend who becomes a surrogate mother for her best friend.

That also reminded me of ‘FRIENDS’, where Phoebe becomes the surrogate mother to help her younger brother & his older girlfriend. And also ‘Chori chori chupke chupke’; where hero (Salman) hires a good at heart prostitute (Priety) for the same job.

Now… Being a surrogate mother is something not every woman will do. People might consider it unethical. To bear someone else’s child. But to think of I how is it unethical? What is wrong if someone does that? If a woman just provides her womb for some time to help out a couple who due to some reason are not able to conceive on their own; how is it wrong? Even if done for money. The couple for whom she is doing it will surely be a socially respectable couple, who due to some medical reasons are not able to have a baby on their own. If with her help a couple finds happiness then why not. Why not even rent her womb. Like any other service provider she’d also be doing some kind of service. And in this case it will even equate to ‘service’ as in help. To help a couple in need.

I agree that might close the doors for adoption when people could have their own through this method. And I support adoption. There are already thousands of children in this world who need parental care & affection and are left at the mercy of people who donate and the people who seem to use the donations in part for the kids & the other parts God knows. This concept proves as a threat to that, but I know everyone would prefer to have their own child. Their own blood. They’d do anything for that. Remarriage is a common solution in the society. So if a surrogate mother can save a marriage by providing the kid without expecting a place in the family and causing more difficulties, is it not a good deal.

I started thinking will I do that? For whom could I do that for if needed? Will my family allow?

 I think I can do something like that if the need arrives. Not for money though. I might do it for any of my family members or friends if any of them face any such problems in life. And if ever approached to do it for money then it will depend on who needs it and why. My family.. I am not sure what they will think of it.

I know what I think. It is a noble thing to do. As bearing a child is not only a great responsibility but also prestigious for a woman. It is a miracle which only a woman can go through. If anyone asked me to bear a child for them I would be obliged as it would mean that not only they think I can handle it; they also feel I am the right person because a fetus starts learning in the womb itself. A surrogate mother needs to provide the right environment for the fetus, be it right kind of food or thought. I love kids. And I would go to any extent to give any kid all it needs. If anyone approaches me I want that to be the basis of it.

I am not planning to do so in near future, as first I’d like to bear my own. And I am not planning to make a career out of this. But I am not against any woman who gets paid to do so. It will still be a noble profession in my view. Just as a landlord rents out his farms to the farmers for some time. It is a good cause.

Give it a thought. Women – will you do that for anyone? Men would you let your women do that?

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20 Comments leave one →
  1. February 4, 2009 10:15 pm

    This is indeed an unusual article. Nicely written. But I would suggest you to spilt the write up in paragraphs to make it easier to read.

    Coming to my view, I really cant say now if I would let my wife to be a surrogate mother. Of course, its for a noble cause and theres absolutely nothing morally wrong in it. I guess it depends on the person to whom we agree it for and a lot depends on our convenience too. Hmm..I really dont know, I dont want to end up being a hypocrite by claiming I would do so readily. It involves a lot of thinking !

  2. February 5, 2009 5:20 am

    oh.. i posted it in paragraphs only i don’t know how it got mixed up.
    actually i was in a hurry i just hit the publish button & left. as after writing it couldn’t wait to publish.

    hmm.. yes it depends on for whom we agree to do it and also our own convenience.. and there’s nothing wrong if u don’t want to do it due to any reason. it is your life.. your freedom of choice..

    just that the decision must not be due to wrong thinking.

  3. February 5, 2009 11:10 am

    i am so angry and so annoyed with this whole process of giving away ur damn baby…i mean God has gifted u this ability to bear a child and u do it out of sheer need?!?!?!?

    such people should be stoned to death….

  4. February 5, 2009 11:15 am

    First time here, and the first post I read here is a nice juicy controversial article! 🙂
    I like your writing style… Are you new to wordpress? I guess you are, as I’m apparently your 607th guest… So, Welcome!! 🙂 🙂

  5. February 5, 2009 5:56 pm

    thats a great thought oorja. i dont think there is anything wrong with it. i read about this case where a mother rented her womb so for her own daughter . but you see society will be society ….it will condemn anything which even if is right as “wrong ” if it goes against the laid practices

  6. February 5, 2009 5:59 pm

    @ alice : surrogacy as a profession . i think its totally being mean . but alice, if there are certain condition which compel a person to do so (just once or atmost twice) its acceptable but as a profession forget about it………you never know …….in coming years you have courses on surrogacy

  7. February 5, 2009 8:56 pm

    It’s certainly a noble thing to do, but never easy. It takes a lot of emotional strength and maturity to be a surrogate, and I don’t think I have that emotional strength. In a sense it’s a painful experience for the surrogate – emotionally and physically, and if she is exploited to do so, due to her circumstances then it’s not acceptable. If she is willing to do so out of no need or compulsion, it’s truly noble of her.

  8. February 6, 2009 8:27 am

    A woman’s womb, in my POV, is a very sacred thing.

    If a lady agrees to help another family by carrying their child because they are not able to – its great. But problem arises when that lady decides to ‘rent’ her womb to make quick bucks! Its a sacred place where another life is nurtured. The lady does not have any right to misuse such a great power for money.

    I think thats pretty cheap and those ladies should surely be stoned!

  9. February 7, 2009 5:16 am

    Alice – the woman won’t be giving away her own baby it will be the couple’s baby just surgically implanted in her as the lady is not able to carry the foetus on her own.. so it is only fair to part with the baby..

    Nikhil – thanks.. and welcome here my 607th friend.. 🙂
    ya i started 2 months ago.. so am pretty new here..

    Arpit – we are the society we make & break social practices.. ‘Sati pratha’ was once a social ritual but it changed coz it was a cruel practice..

    Neeraja – ya its a really tough decision for any woman.. and yes she must not be taken advantage of due to her circumstances..

    Sindhu – yes a womb is as sacred as a Temple..
    but imagine if u are saying that if a very poor woman living in slums tries to make a few bucks from this.. but who will let her bear their baby..? won’t they want a decent woman for such a big responsibility..? any couple who can afford this and want this would want to choose a good woman for this task.

    and it is much better than being a prostitute.. and i feel even they have their reasons for being in that profession… we got it easy in life.. atleast we didn’t struggle for the basic needs..!

  10. February 9, 2009 5:57 am

    I, too, do not find surrogate mothers as anything ethical. THough I would not say I would ever be one, I am scared of childbirths. I am a big advocate of adoption, I hope I can when it comes to it.

    Filhaal is one of my fav movies that bombed. I liked Sush there. THis movie had male characters well-etchd out too. It had two men whom you would love to have in yuor life.

    • February 9, 2009 7:13 am

      childbirth itself makes a surrogate mother even more great as she is doing it for someone else, imagine that pain when it combines with the pain of giving away a baby which has grown inside you for 9 months.

      i myself want to adopt a girl child. let’s see if my family ever approves. it is too big a decision & responsibility to take without family support and if even 1 person in the family does not agree that could make the situation very bad for everyone especially the kid.

      Filhaal.. have seen some parts of it & liked it very much nd yes the men in the movie r so sweet, caring, understanding, loving (Sanjay) & patient (Palash)……. doesn’t seem like real life men. but would love to see a few of those in real time… 😉

  11. February 10, 2009 1:51 am

    Haven’t really thought how i would react to a similar situation..mmm.

    Renting womb for money, would be a strict no-no but to help another family, a woman..hmm maybe!

    • February 10, 2009 5:18 am

      everything begins with a thought only… nd u r on the right track..

  12. February 10, 2009 2:56 pm

    Wonderful article Oorja… Nicely written.. I am also not seeing anything wrong in this.. I am yet to see kandein Seethayai

  13. February 11, 2009 5:47 am

    Thanks.. i couldn’t watch it till the end. wanted to know what happens.. but the begining was enough for me to ponder..

  14. February 13, 2009 4:51 am

    I wouldnt do it .. but i dont think i have any right to tell someone not to do it .. every woman to her own!a mother will never want to give away her child, even if she has been artificially impregnated.. circumstances is what pushes people do do things ..and i loved filhal esp sushmita in it ..

  15. February 14, 2009 5:10 am

    every woman to her own..! that’s how it should be.

  16. April 1, 2009 6:41 am

    i dunno how noble this profession would be but wat i can think is dat it will be so painful to do so, so many times..i wonder how women bears so much pain!!

    yes it would be painful physically and mentally to bear and give up a child.

  17. May 31, 2009 12:31 am

    I don’t see anything wrong with surrogacy. Apparently, it’s quite big in India…lately on Australia telly they have been showing couples going to India to get a surrogate because I think it’s not legal here.

    In answer to your question at the end…I don’t think I would do it but that’s because I don’t even want to bear one of my own so I don’t see the point in going through it for someone else. A bit selfish maybe…

    not selfish at all.. i think you are working with children.. so how can you be selfish.. this way you can be there for more kids that if you were to have one or two of your own and concentrate on them.. this is more selfless..

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